.glad to not be egyptian.

Today = Hebrews 9:23-10:18 + Exodus 9-10 + Proverbs 3

I realize I haven't commented much on the Old Testament passages... probably because, frankly, sometimes they are hard to relate to. But I stopped when I read these words in Exodus:

"For by now I could have stretched out my hand and struck you and your people with a plague that would have wiped you off the earth. But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth." (Exodus 9:15-16)

This comes in the midst of God sending the plagues against Pharaoh and Egypt. I think sometimes I read the story and I wonder why God doesn't just wipe them out, or why he's pestering the people of Egypt who may have nothing to do with keeping the Israelites as slaves. But none of that really matters because the point  is that God displays his ridiculously incredible power in each of the plagues and the signs that he sends. Again, I am humbled to see his glory set so drastically against my .....lameness. Ha, that's a horrible way to say it, but it's true. God's glory is displayed everywhere - in the snowstorms and the wind and the power, and the soft hush of the quiet afterwards. It's crazy stuff. We serve a crazy, amazing, powerful God.

.hidden treasure.

Today = Hebrews 9:1-22 + Exodus 6:28-8:32 + Proverbs 2

Honestly, Proverbs is just so useful. Of course, this is not to say that the rest of the Bible isn't, but somehow reading Proverbs always seems to refocus my attention. Which is definitely a good thing.

"My son, if you accept my words and store up my commands within you, turning your ear to wisdom and applying your heart to understanding, and if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding, and if you look for it as silver and search for it as for hidden treasure, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God."  (Proverbs 2:1-5)

I really love all of the analogies and depictions of truly searching after God. Filling up our lives with the things of him and thirsting after it like we thirst for water. It challenges me extremely. I'm developing and hunger and thirst for these things, to look at them as the prize of my life. It's growing slowly, but it's growing :)

.complacency.

Today = Hebrews 8 + Exodus 6:28-8:32 + Proverbs 1

well, yesterday was a complete blogging fail.. mostly because my internet failed. RPI's internet seems to be having major issues lately, and my internet likes to quit randomly when I least like it to. Sigh, oh well.

I get to start a new book today! Proverbs has always been a crazy book - it's just so.... instantly practical? I don't know if that's the best description. Anyway, I always feel young and foolish when I read it. I suppose that's a good thing.....because I'm definitely not wise in the slightest sometimes.

"For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm." (Proverbs 1:32-33)

These two verses stood out to me, I think first because it spoke of complacency. I think complacency can be a problem in all of our lives, but I have definitely felt it's affect in mine. It's so easy to find a pattern to sink into, one that isn't productive, but that's very comfortable. Looking back it seems idiotic, but in the present you have no thirst for change, a challenge. I love that if we listen to wisdom and put it to practice, we will live in safety and be at ease. I think it's kind of ironic though. Complacency happens, at least for me, because I don't want to take the effort or the risk of changing. I don't want to change my ways or push myself. But if we do push ourselves to live wisely, to answer God's call to wherever he leads us, it might be utterly chaotic, but we can be certain that we can still live in safety without fear of harm.

.muck and mire.

Today = Hebrews 6:13-20 + Exodus 1-2 + Psalm 40

Well I wasn't going to post until I got back to my room tonight.. but I'm sitting here bored out of my mind at work because 1) I can't find any paper to make a crib sheet with (you'd think in an office you could find something.. ) and 2) reading through more Bible is always a good thing :)

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and the mire; he set my feat on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare." (Psalm 40:1-5)

I love the imagery of these verses. God lifts us out of "the slimy pit, out of the mud and the mire." He takes us out of the darkest grossest messes, and brings us to a rock - a solid place in the midst of chaos. God's been teaching me a lot of humility lately, or at least I feel like it. Of course as I say that it's not longer the most humble thing.. but really God is showing me how perfect and amazing and glorious he is, just small glimpses at a time, while also showing me how crappy I am. Sounds bad, but God is so much more infinitely perfect and majestic than I could ever imagine. I am by nature messed up, but his grace is what pulls me out of that mire, bringing me into a place of amazing love and grace, hope and security. The more and more I grasp that fact, the more and more I feel like I need to hold on to him for dear life. He is truly my only lifeline. My All. My Everything.

.gimme sympathy.

Today = Hebrews 4:14-6:12 + Genesis 49-50 + Psalm 39

"Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are - yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." (Hebrews 4:14-16)

I really like these verses. It displays the amazing love and grace of our God, his ability to come to us where we are, understand us fully and teach us, but also show that he is infinitely above us in every way. The stupid little things we deal with and struggle through every day, he struggled with too! But he didn't cave in! Every temptation we've ever encountered, and struggle or trial we have had to endure, he can be there with us and understand it because he experienced it too. He is not an impersonal God who sits high up, unconnected with the matters of this world, the ordinary things of the lives of ordinary people. But he is so extremely connected with us - he came HERE. That's like the CEO of a major company coming and hanging out with a pizza delivery person. Well, that might be a horrible analogy.. but imagine the most powerful leader you can think of, then stepping off his place and position of power and taking up the lowest, most menial job. And yet God is so beyond that! Infinitely more so! I am so thankful for such a personal God. I still don't comprehend it all.

.attitude of the heart.

Today = Hebrews 3:1- 4:13 + Genesis 48 + Psalm 38

The passage in Hebrews is super good today. Not that it wouldn't be normally.. but sometimes things just strike you and get to your heart. Such is the case here:

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account."  (Hebrews 4:12-13)

Wow, what a challenge. Nothing we ever say or do is hidden from God. I love the part that his word is living and active, though it scares the crap out of me at the same time. Sometimes the Bible seems full of nice stories, comforting words and prayers in time of trouble.. but it is so much more than that. It is controversial and revolutionary. It is unlike anything else. For truly it is what can get to our hearts, 'dividing soul and spirit.' God is infinitely more perfect than we are, and we are judged by his standard. Who can uphold it? Surely we can't. We flinch and fall instantly at the slightest pressure. Jesus as the substitute truly is the greatest gift. My prayer is that when God does look at the thoughts and attitudes of my heart, that it will be more Jesus's and less mine.

.trust.delight.commit.wait.

Today = Hebrews 2 + Genesis 46:28- 47:31 + Psalm 37

Ok I promise I will pick something that is not a psalm soon... but once again I really like this passage in  Psalm 37. It's so comforting and challenging all at once:

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when men succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes." (Psalm 37:3-7)

I love the commands in this because they challenge me so incredibly much: TRUST in the Lord, DELIGHT yourself in the Lord, COMMIT your way to the Lord. WAIT for Him.  And God gives us so much back - not that we deserve anything at all! But honestly, I think trusting God, making sure my delight is in him and him only, and just waiting for him are some of the hardest things to do! I'm so impatient sometimes. So I think that is what I need: to still myself before God, waiting and trusting in Him alone. As much as it sucks sometimes, his love is so worth it. He truly does give us the desires of our heart when we seek him first.

.filled.

Today = Hebrews 1 + Genesis 45:1- 46:27 + Psalm 36

Ok, so I'm trying to quickly write a post before my computer battery dies; somehow I forgot my cord in studio!

So quickly I will comment on Psalm 36 because I love it and it is definitely the source for one of my favorite Hope songs. I love that David just praises God without ceasing. His words obviously do not do God justice, but it doesn't stop him from trying.

"Your love, O lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O Lord you preserve both man and beast. How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among en find refuge in the shadow of your wings. They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights. For with you is the fountain of life; in your light we see light." (Psalm 36:5-9)

I am realizing lately that God's love is infinitely more than I will ever grasp. Also his justice. All life that is true life comes through him. True love comes from him, true life comes from him. All else is just an imperfect image. But when I am drawn close to God and experience some of that love and that life, it truly is amazing. Lately I have been so pleased and relieved to have my joy back; I don't know when I lost it, but in the process of drawing near to Him I feel so much more filled.

.Jesus is hungry.

Today = Luke 24:13-53 + Genesis 44 + Psalm 35


Today's reading in Luke is of Jesus appearing to the disciples. First, as I read it, I didn't immediately recognize some of the passage. Which, I must admit, I feel kind of awful about seeing as it's the description of my beautiful Savior rising from the dead! But in the midst of this, God made me laugh. I'll explain. I think these might be my new favorite verses:

"While they were still talking about this, Jesus himself stood among them and said to them, 'Peace be with you.' They were startled and frightened, thinking they saw a ghost. He said to them, "Why are you troubled, and why do doubts rise in your minds? Look at my hands and my feet. It is I myself! Touch me and see; a ghost does not have flesh and bones, as you see I have.' When he had said this, he showed them his hands and feet. And while they still did not believe it because of joy and amazement, he asked them, 'Do you have anything here to eat?'" (Luke 24:36-41)


Do you have anything here to eat??? I laughed out loud when I read that! But it did serve a purpose - Jesus was showing that he was real, flesh and bones, hungry like any other human. Dead people are not hungry. Sick people aren't even hungry! But here Jesus was, back from the dead and standing in their presence, asking for food!! I feel like there are much bigger/more important concepts to take from the passage, but I really loved that verse, and its bluntness and, well, humor.

The last verses are awesome too. My prayer this week is to be filled with that joy and praise toward my risen, living, ridiculously amazing God.

"When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. Then they worshipped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God." (Luke 24:50-53)

.worth seeking.

Today = Luke 24:1-12 + Genesis 43 + Psalm 34

I know I've been commenting on the psalms a lot, but I really really like this one. It is referenced a bunch of times in the New Testament, especially by Paul. As Pastor Ed says, Psalm 34 was Paul's verse - he knew it in its entirety, and he let him change it from the inside out.

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. Fear the Lord, you his saints, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. Come, my children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the Lord. Whoever of you loves life and desires to see many good days, keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking lies. Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry; the face of the Lord is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. A righteous man may have many troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all; he protects all his bones, not one of them will be broken. Evil will slay the wicked; the foes of the righteous will be condemned. The Lord redeems his servants; no one will be condemned who takes refuge in him." (Psalm 34:9-22).

I love these verses. Last night I was feeling pretty stressed, but it's things like these - the reminder that God is bigger, SO MUCH BIGGER! What the heck do I need to be worrying about? One of the verses that challenge me is verse 14: 'Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." It is so ridiculously simple, but heavy. It is hard to physically turn away from the things we know are not healthy for us. It's difficult to abandon those things that feel good and may even be culturally accepted, But God asks us to turn from the bad, to move toward doing good. And then there is the challenge to 'seek peace an pursue it.' That is hard. I haven't quite grasped God's version of peace. My version is laying in a nice comfy bed, going to sleep early with little to no work (ha like tonight!). His peace is more like the supernatural peace, the peace in the midst of hardship or chaos. I've gotten a taste of it sometimes, and it's incredible. It's definitely worth seeking.

.long absence.

Well as you might have noticed, I hadn't posted in a ridiculously long time..
I've generally kept up on reading, but I haven't posted. Obviously.

This week has been a crazy week, physically, emotionally, spiritually.. and school-wise. I'm currently waiting for my computer modeling program to start working again so I can finish my work and finally go to bed.

So, once again I won't actually be posting tonight, but I will write this verse, which I have been carrying in my pocket all night. It helped :)

"Therefore since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the Glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our suffering, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us." (Romans 5:1-5)

Well, through all the craziness, I can really feel God pulling me and moulding me. Sometimes it really hurts, a lot. But conditioning my heart for him is so worth it.

.confident of this one thing.

Today = Luke 20:1-26 + Genesis 35-36 + Psalm 27

Lately the Psalm have been reminding me of Hope CC's songs. Probably because they come from the Psalms! Anyway, it makes me thankful for the church, the body, the community I've been brought up in. Even though I am 1250 miles away, I still feel a part of that body. The church is definitely a bod, not a building.

Anyway, "The Land of the Living" was the song I was thinking of, stemming from these verses:

"I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:13-14)

I love that last part. I'm definitely in need of patience lately.

.revolutionary love.

Today = Luke 19:28-28 + Genesis 34 + Psalm 26

Well today has once again been a busy day full of architecture, long reviews, and long lectures. And pizza. Anytime I get stressed or overwhelmed or just want to feel better, I start baking or cooking something. Kind of ridiculous, but tasty.

Each story from today's reading is fascinating and has a lot that could be unpacked, but my mind keeps resting on these words from Psalms:

"Test me, O Lord, and try me, examine my heart and my mind; for you love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth." (Psalm 26:2-3)

What I've noticed lately is that it is easy to ask God to test us and try us, to examine us through and through. There are lots of psalms and worship songs that say just that. But being examined with God's X-ray pierces us to the core. It hurts.

I would so much rather someone be angry at me than disappointed in me. It's the worst feeling. But it's what I feel when I feel God searching my heart, finding all the dark places where the light hurts like sweet against cavities in my soul. The feeling where I have disobeyed and failed to live to his perfect standard hurt, but it's the feeling after, when I know that I am forgiven and welcomed into his love, a love that truly is 'ever before me.' Surrendering to God's ways is really hard; it means exposing the nastiest parts of me. But there is a peace, a trust, a hope, and a love that come in an overwhelming flood afterwards. That is what is revolutionary.

.to you O Lord.

Today = Luke 19:1-27 + Genesis 32-33 + Psalm 25

I'm having an interesting day, to say the least. I don't have much to say, but Psalm 25 really spoke to me. I think it pretty much speaks for itself:

"To you, O Lord, I lift up my soul; in you I trust, O my God. Do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame, but they will be put to shame who are treacherous without excuse. Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long. Remember, O Lord, your great mercy and love, for they are from of old. Remember not the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you are good, O Lord. Good and upright is the Lord; therefore he instructs sinners in his ways. He guides the humble in what is right and teaches them his way. All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant. For the sake of your name, O Lord, forgive my iniquity, though it is great. Who, then, is the man that fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way chosen for him. He will spend his days in prosperit, and his descendants will inherit the land. The Lord confides in those who fear him; he makes his covenant known to them. My eyes are ever on the Lord, for only he will release my feet from the snare. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish. Look upon my affliction and my distress and take away all my sins. See how my enemies have increased and how fiercely they hate me! Guard my life and rescue me; let me not be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in you. Redeem Israel, O God, from all their troubles!" (Psalm 25)

yep, this is definitely the cry of my heart tonight.

.persistence.

Today = Luke 18:18-43 + Genesis 29:31-30:43 + Psalm 24

Finally I'm posting again. I came back late last night and was still planning on posting, but I didn't want to wake my roommate up, so I thought it would be best to just post today. I really hate not being able to post. But it does feel so good when I finally can again.

Though I think I will be focusing on the passage in Luke, which really challenges me, I did want to comment on Genesis. Somehow I never quite remembered this story before, but chapter 30 about Jacob's children is ridiculous! Oh my word I was thinking the whole time, how on earth is this kosher? It's like a really messed up soap opera. yikes. I haven't quite made sense of it all, nor will I ever I think. But anyway...

I am really challenged by the passage in Luke, especially the Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector and the Parable of the Persistent Widow:

"Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. he said: 'In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in tha town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't know fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' And the Lord said 'Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you , he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?'" (Luke 18:1-8)

I think it's easy for me to be lazy and not persistent in my prayer, and in other things as well. But God wants us to ask him, and he will answer! Of course, God's timing is completely different from ours; he's rarely early, always on time, but never late. I've had a few things on my mind, answers to questions that he doesn't seem to be answering. But then again, I haven't been very persistent lately either.

.overflow.

Well, in the insanity of yesterday, I did manage to read through everything, but completely forgot about posting. Usually I do it in the morning, so I think I just assumed I had already posted.. and then today realized I hadn't. But I did the reading! So that was good.

Today = Luke 17 + Genesis 29:1-30 + Psalm 23

Well, I really have no choice but to comment on Psalm 23. I memorized it with my Grandma Ruby when I was four or five years old, kneeling by the side of her bed at their old apartment in St. Paul. I remember the imagery distinctly. Psalm 23 is no a passage that I wish to really comment on; it is one of those that must just be read over and over, letting it marinate and sink in deep. I pray that each time I read it I will be filled again with renewed thankfulness toward my Almighty, Perfect Shepherd.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever." (Psalm 23)

.lost and found.

Today = Luke 15 + Genesis 27:1-45 + Psalm 20

Today's reading from Luke is ridiculously famous, in both Christian and secular culture. The parable of the lost son is referred to often, but I've been hearing it more frequently and in new contexts lately. Back at Hope CC in Minnesota, the last sermon I heard before I left was on exactly this passage. Bart Carey was speaking, and he told of how we are all either the older or younger son, or a bit of both. The youngest son is foolish, selfish, and squanders all that he has. The older son is a judgmental, jealous, and selfish as well. I can definitely relate with both, unfortunately. It's easy as a 'veteran' Christian (if there is such a thing) to become bitter or angry toward those that have gone astray, just like the younger son. We just can't be happy and celebrate them coming back or making any headway. As the younger son I find it so easy to want to live for the moment and make instantly fun, but eternally stupid decisions. God welcomes those that have abandoned him back, which makes no sense. That's grace. It really doesn't make any sense at all, practically speaking. So I understand the older son complaining when the younger son receives gifts and celebration upon returning. But the father says this:

"'My Son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found." (Luke 15:31-32)

Truly God will welcome us back with open arms when we make stupid decisions and run away from him. But when we are back in his arms, we need to make sure we are loving of those who have just come back, the lost who have been found again. That is definitely something I need to work on.

.state of the heart.

Today = Luke 14:25-35 + Genesis 26 + Psalm 19

Well, I made it through the day of craziness. I finally got to bed last night around 5:00 am. Not fun. I was able to complete all my work, which was good. I thought I was behind and just working slow, but apparently I was one of the few who had everything done for today. Oh well, at least I'm feel a little better about having all the final requirements done for this Thursday's review. Of course, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but basically my day was not horrible. Not great, but not horrible.

All the readings from today were really interesting, but for the sake of fun for me, I'll comment on the Psalm. Psalm 19 is heavily used, and very familiar to many people. The beginning is perhaps the most recognizable:

"The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge. There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard. Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world..." (Psalm 19:1-4)

I love that God's glory is always visible, always heard. It's comforting to me for the mere fact that I will be in Italy next fall, with an unfamiliar language. But still, God's glory will be heard. Yep, I definitely like that verse. But what caught my eye in the passage at first was the end:

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer." (Psalm 19:14)

I think that verse sums up a lot in a short sentence. The only thing we can really give God is ourselves. He wants us to have a pure heart, one that is focused on the right things. I feel convicted by this; are the things I meditate on, think about the most often, truly pleasing to God? Would I be ashamed if I were speaking about the same things if I were in his presence, face to face? It definitely reminds me of Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things." God wants our attention in the right place. If our hearts are supposed to be a gift to him, he wants them clean and pure, imprinted with the influence of good things. He doesn't want a bitter, jealous, callous, or untrusting heart. I think I will definitely be challenged to discipline my thoughts. I want him to be pleased at the state of my heart.